What is in a name?
The responsibility for our name is commonly firmly in the hands of our parents. When my first child was born we were able to choose her name some 3 months in advance to her arrival. It didn’t seem to take us very long to pick a suitable name given the amount of time she would be stuck with it. The name seemed to both myself and my wife as elegant, and stirred up images of innocence, exploration, curiosity and playfulness. The name we chose was “Alice”. Soon after deciding on the name we told our family and friends:
“Oh, you can’t call her that. I have a friend called Alice, and she’s horrid.”
“There’s a little girl at my childs playgroup called Alice, and she’s a terror. Don’t call her that.”
Suffice to say we stuck with “Alice”, but it was interesting, if not at first confusing, that other people had a different first impression of the name than we did. What is even stranger is that she hadn’t even been born yet, and they already had preconcieved ideas on what she was going to be like because of her name.
When our second daughter was due, we decided on a name, but agreed not to tell anyone the name until she was born so as to avoid the orchestra of distain. Instead we code-named her ‘Number-5′. No one could be angry at that?! ‘Number-5′ became “Fuchsia” when she was born, and oddly everyone thought though it was an unusual name, it was pretty. They had no other preconceptions of “Fuchsia” other than the flower and the colour. The fact that we primerily chose the name because of the Gormenghast character seemed of little interest or importance.
I recently went to the Higher Evolution center in Ipswich for an open evening for meditation and to learn what it is they do there. It is run by the Buddhist Community in Ipswich, and as such many of the staff there are ordained and have ‘new’ names. I was able to speak with one of the members there about this practice, and it does seem to make sence. The new name is given to them by a teacher who knows them very well. The name is expected to represent their character much more distinctly and give them an icon or symbol with which they can identify for their spiritual journey. Both Alice and Fuchsia have their names because of how my wife and I felt about the names before they were born. We didn’t know them when they were given their names. We had no idea what they would be like when they were older. And what is even stranger is that I believe the names suit them… how can that be true?
In certain magik traditions each person has a true-name. This is often a name hidden from them, but holds mystical power for anyone that knows it. It is a name that is unique for each individual and can be used in incantations for positive and negative effect.
Exercise 1
Imagine you are meeting me for the first time. Imagine I introduce myself as “Jonathan” (which I am very likely to do!). Now become aware of the conceptions/visualisations/feelings/sounds you are having about that name. Do you think of other people you know called Jonathan? Their positive and negative qualities? Maybe a character from a book? Some people immediatly contract the name to “Jon” or “John”. What does this do to how you feel?
“Jonathan” does nothing to descibe anything about my qualities as a person, and yet it is very likely you have preconceptions about who I am, what I sound like or other aspects of my personality. Maybe you have met me before, but more likely you haven’t, and this is really my point. You feel like you already know basically who I am, without actually having made a real assessment based on actual expereince. This preconception can be a very powerful tool; why do you think celebreties have stage names?
To take this line of thinking even further and potentially blow your head miles away from your shoulders, what does a word really mean. Richard Bandler is amongt many that believe that words themselves are the fabric of magic. Every single word on this page is constructed from a combination of 26 finite letters, a defined syntax and a regular grammar, and yet we still use this simple construct to communicate our feelings, experiences and ideas. Each word has a distinct meaning, however we very likely have different internal representations of what that word means to us.
Exercise 2
Just think of the word “Dog”. What do you think of? Write it down before you continue with the exercise.
What colour was the dog? Was it sitting or standing? What breed was it? Was it big or small? Was it happy or agressive? Did you think of a dog at all, or maybe something else entirely?
I didn’t ask you to think of a “small white fluffy dog sitting on a red carpet”. I asked you to think of a “dog”, but your representation of a dog is such that you think of something much more specific than just a dog. Your model of the type of dog I was expecting you to think of was insufficient and so you filled in the gaps for me.
This simple concept is a key part of hypnosis and NLP and is used to great effect.
Exersize 3
Think of the word “relax”. What do you think of? Write down everything you are aware of.
Warm toes? A holiday in the sun? Heavy arms? Your bed? A favorite seat? The feeling of a pillow against your face?
Again all I really asked you to do was to think of the word “relax”, and yet you spiralled out of control and found all sorts of representations of what “relax” means to you. And this is the important key. What “relax” means to you. A “dog” can be defined much more easily, than “relax”. To “relax” as a dictionary definition and as an experience are very different. “Relax” is a subjective thing, its something you feel and then connect with a common word used by others to describe a similar experience… or do they? Surely this exercise has shown that the way I feel about the word “relax”, and the way you do the same, are different.
Every part of our language has loaded implications and will be interpreted differently by each of us. This is what truely makes us unique and special. Once you begin to understand that not everyone understands ideas in the same way you do, you might begin to communicate much more efficiently.